How’s Your Sleep? (Part 1)

Understanding the Nervous System + Sleep Connection

If your sleep has been unpredictable lately—hard to fall asleep, waking up at 3 a.m., or dragging through the day—you’re not alone.

Whether you’re navigating a transition, shouldering (invisible) labor at home or work, or just absorbing the weight of the world, your sleep may be telling you something important: your nervous system is overloaded.

As a Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner in Palm Springs, I often work with high-performing, mission-driven women who can do it all—until their body says otherwise. And sleep is usually one of the first signs that something in the system needs tending.

Why Sleep Isn’t Just About “Shutting Down”

We often think of sleep as a binary: on or off, asleep or awake. But sleep is a delicate biological rhythm governed by your autonomic nervous system—the same system that manages stress, digestion, and heart rate.

When you’re under chronic stress, your body can get stuck in sympathetic activation (fight/flight) or a dorsal state (shutdown/freeze). In either state, your system doesn’t feel safe enough to deeply rest.

You might notice:

• Racing thoughts as soon as your head hits the pillow

• Waking up between 2–4 a.m. with a pounding heart or anxious mind

• Feeling “tired but wired” all day

• Difficulty falling back asleep after waking

Sleep Requires Safety—Even if You're Not Consciously Stressed

Here’s the thing: even if you’re doing “all the right things” with sleep hygiene—no screens, lavender tea, sound machines, sleep mask and blackout cirtains—if your nervous system is dysregulated, your body won’t let you fully rest.

You might be holding tension from:

• Past trauma or unfinished stress responses

• Cultural pressure to overperform or prove your worth

• Grief, transition, or loss that hasn’t been metabolized

• Long-standing patterns of high achievement and self-sacrifice

Sound familiar?

Somatic Experiencing®: A Gentle Way Back to Rest

Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a body-based approach to healing stress and trauma. Rather than pushing your body to “calm down,” it listens for where your nervous system is stuck and offers gentle, titrated support to restore resilience and safety.

In our work together, we don’t just talk about what’s keeping you up at night—we work with the sensations, rhythms, and impulses of your body so that rest can become available again, naturally.

Clients often say things like:

“For the first time in years, I can fall asleep without a podcast blaring in the background.”

“I wake up less and feel more rested—even on short nights.”

“I didn’t realize how much I was bracing all day until I started feeling safe enough to let go at night.”

A New Relationship to Sleep Starts with Awareness

Before changing habits, supplements, or even your bedtime, try asking:

What’s my nervous system holding right now that hasn’t had space to settle?

Sometimes, that question alone opens the door to a different kind of relationship with sleep—one that’s less about fixing and more about listening.

Next up in this series…

In Part 2, we’ll explore how life transitions—especially perimenopause—affect sleep, and how Somatic Experiencing can support you through these hormonal and identity shifts. Stay tuned.

Want to work together?
If your sleep has been a struggle and you suspect stress is part of the picture, I’d love to support you through private somatic coaching—online or in Palm Springs. Contact me here to learn more.

The Wisdom of Wings: What the Myth of Icarus Can Teach Us About Resilience Today

Imagine this: a father and son stand on the edge of a labyrinthine tower, wings made of wax and feathers strapped to their backs. Below them, the deep blue sea stretches endlessly; above, the blazing sun waits. Daedalus, the master craftsman, warns his son, Icarus:

“Fly not too high, lest the sun melt your wings. Nor too low, lest the sea weigh them down.”

And so begins one of the most iconic myths of ancient Greece—a tale of freedom, flight, ambition, and consequence.

But what if this story isn’t just a warning about overreaching?

What if it’s also a metaphor for how we navigate our own emotional and energetic range?

The Window of Resilience: Our Modern-Day Wings

In trauma-informed healing work, we often talk about the Window of Resilience—the optimal zone in which we can feel, think, and respond with flexibility and presence.

When we are within this window, we are connected. We can access our intuition, creativity, and power. When we move outside of it, we swing into either:

• Hyperarousal (too much activation, like anxiety, overwhelm, rage),
  or

• Hypoarousal (too little activation, like numbness, shutdown, or depression).

This isn’t just nervous system theory—it’s life in motion.

And doesn’t that sound familiar?

Flying too high—too close to the sun—might look like burnout, overdoing, or constantly proving your worth. Flying too low—too close to the sea—might look like playing small, staying silent, or shrinking yourself to be “safe.”

Ancient Myths as Mirrors for Modern Lives

Here’s the thing: Greek myths weren’t just entertainment. They were encoded messages about how to live wisely, bravely, and in balance with the forces of nature—both outside and within.

The myth of Icarus reminds us of something vital: True power lies in finding the middle path—the space where we can stretch, risk, feel, and still remain tethered to our own inner knowing.

In our world, though, women aren’t usually punished for flying too high.

We are conditioned, subtly and not-so-subtly, to stay close to the sea.

• To quiet our brilliance.

• To swallow our rage.

• To smooth over conflict.

• To put others’ needs before our own wisdom.

So if we’re going to learn from this myth, we may need to flip it a little.

For Many Women, the Greater Risk is in Rising

In my work as a coach and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, I see it every day: the fear of rising.

Not the fear of failure, but the fear of what will happen if we stop dimming our light.

Flying “too high” might mean:

• Saying what you really think in a meeting.

• Raising your prices.

• Leaving a relationship that no longer honors your becoming.

• Saying yes to a dream that no one else can see but you.

And it might feel scary. But this is what reclaiming your wings looks like.

Resilience isn’t about staying small. It’s about expanding the range of what you can tolerate without abandoning yourself.

What You Can Do Right Now

As you go about your day, try asking yourself:

• Where am I right now? Within my window of resilience, or outside it?

• Am I shrinking when I could be rising?

• What would it mean to fly in my own centerline—balanced, powerful, present?

And if you want support in doing that, or if the land of Greece is calling you home in some deep, ancient way—I’d love to walk with you there.

Returning to the Land of Myth: A Retreat for the Soul

This September, I’m offering a 7-night retreat in the Peloponnese, Greece, called Myth & Meaning.

We’ll gather under the olive trees, surrounded by mountains and sea, to reconnect with the archetypal stories that still live in us.

Through embodiment practices, Somatic Experiencing, mythology, and circle work, we’ll explore:

• What myths are you still living?

• Where are you flying too low or too high?

• How do you come back into your own window of resilience?

• And what happens when you allow yourself to reclaim your wings?

This isn’t just a vacation. It’s an epic journey to something ancient, wise, and utterly alive in you.

Isn’t it time you answered the call?

The Myth and Meaning Retreat in Greece (august 31 - September 7) is now open for registration for a limited time. CLICK HERE FOR ALL THE DETAILS AND Join us.

Don't Look Away: Ancient Myths and Somatic Healing for Resilience

The Myth of Medusa: Facing the Unbearable

Deep in the shadows of ancient Greece, Medusa’s eyes turned men to stone. A monstrous figure with snakes for hair, she was feared, avoided, and ultimately hunted. 

But Medusa was not always a monster. 

Before she became a creature of nightmares, she was a maiden wronged—violated in Athena’s temple and cursed by the goddess to bear the very terror that had been inflicted upon her. She was a trauma survivor who was punished, as we often see reflected in our own systems. 

When the hero Perseus set out to slay Medusa, he didn’t confront her head-on. He couldn’t meet her gaze directly without being destroyed. Instead, he used Athena’s polished shield as a mirror, allowing him to see her reflection and strike without being petrified.

But this myth isn’t just about heroism; it is about wisdom. 

Medusa represents trauma—our personal wounds and the collective pain of the world. 

If we look too directly, too soon, we risk becoming overwhelmed, frozen. But if we refuse to look at all, we remain trapped in fear.

Trauma expert (and my teacher) Dr. Peter Levine suggests that Medusa’s myth teaches us how to approach our pain wisely. Healing requires learning when to face the wound and when to look away, when to engage and when to resource ourselves. In a time when political rights are being dismantled, when climate crises threaten our future, when collective grief and uncertainty feel unbearable, this wisdom is more relevant than ever.

Here are three key strategies from Medusa’s myth—and from the somatic healing traditions—that can guide us through personal and collective trauma.

Three Mythic Strategies That Can Guide Us Through Personal and Collective Trauma

1. Cultivate Boundaries: The Shield of Athena

Just as Perseus used Athena’s shield to create a protective boundary between himself and Medusa, we must cultivate boundaries when engaging with painful realities.

In trauma healing, boundaries allow us to engage without becoming overwhelmed. Without them, we risk emotional flooding or burnout. Boundaries are not about avoidance; they are about creating the right distance so that we can take in what we need to without being consumed.

Personal Reflection: How can you create space between yourself and distressing news without becoming numb? What practices help you engage with challenges while maintaining inner stability?

Collective Insight: In times of political and ecological crisis, boundaries help us stay engaged in activism without collapsing into despair. We cannot fight for a better world if we are too overwhelmed to act.

2. Use Your Resources: The Gifts of the Gods

Perseus didn’t face Medusa alone.

He was given support —a mirrored shield, a sword, winged sandals, and a helmet of invisibility. These resources were essential for his success. They are an essential part of the story and are often forgotten by a culture that loves to worship a single actor. 

Yet none of us is ever truly alone. Especially when we accomplish great feats. 

In trauma healing, resources are what ground and sustain us: breath, movement, community, nature, ritual, and joy. Just as Perseus needed his divine gifts, we need to gather and honor what supports us.

Personal Reflection: What are your internal and external resources? Which practices—whether it’s time in nature, deep breaths, music, or connection—help you feel strong and supported?

Collective Insight: Amidst the unraveling of rights and environmental destruction, we must resource ourselves to keep going. Movements for justice do not survive on outrage alone; they need song, laughter, rest, pleasure, joy and community care.

3. Titrate: metabolizing Pain in Small Doses

If Perseus had looked directly at Medusa all at once, he would have been destroyed. Instead, he glimpsed at her reflection in small, manageable doses. This is the essence of titration in trauma healing.

Titration means engaging with our pain gradually rather than all at once. In Somatic Experiencing, we don’t dive into the deepest wound immediately; we pendulate between pain and safety, distress and relief. This approach allows us to process trauma without re-traumatizing ourselves.

Personal Reflection: Are you diving too deep into your pain all at once? How can you take breaks, allowing your system to integrate rather than collapse?

Collective Insight: We cannot look away forever from the injustices and crises of the world—but neither can we face them 24/7 without breaking. We need cycles of engagement and rest.

Healing and Action: When to Look, When to Turn Away

The wisdom of Medusa’s myth reminds us: we must look at the hard things, but we must also look wisely.

There are times to confront our wounds and times to step back and gather strength. There are moments to fight for justice and moments to turn toward joy, love, and replenishment.

That’s why I created Myth and Meaning: A Retreat in Greece—to offer a space where we can engage with our personal and collective myths in a way that heals rather than overwhelms. Through somatic practices, mythology, and deep connection — plus delicious Greek food, a magical ecotourism farm off the beaten path, ancient ruins, the sparkling sea and more — we will explore when to look, when to turn away, and how to navigate these times with resilience and wisdom.

Join me this September as we step onto the land where these myths were born and allow them to guide us home—to ourselves, to each other, and to a world we are ready to see, hold, and transform.

Registration for “Myth and Meaning: A Retreat in Greece” August 31 - September 7, 2025 is now open for a limited time. Get the details and join us.

6 Steps to Saner Holidays: Better Boundary Boosters

Several weeks ago, a client of mine asked a million dollar question:

“How do I set boundaries without being a jerk and in a way that’s aligned with my values?”

Oh girl. I feel you. Boy do I feel you! 

This is such an important question, especially during this time of year. With sometimes competing demands from friends and family - plus the pull to indulge in all the things you can eat, drink, buy and consume - creating and maintaining healthy boundaries during the pressure of the holidays isn’t easy. 

But it can be done with a little practice, a whole lot of patience and a dollop of self-compassion. This is one place where perfectionism isn’t helpful so see if you can drop that tool in favor of a spirit of greater creativity and exploration.

Here are 6 Steps to Saner Holidays: Better Boundary Boosters 

1. Get Quiet and Meditate for Ten Minutes

This does not have to be complicated. 

A ten minute meditation where you close your eyes and turn off your phone is great. If you’ve been practicing meditation for a while (and see this post for some motivation about the benefits of meditation), you might visualize a boundary of golden light around you, or focus on heart-centered qualities such as equanimity or lovingkindness. If grounding is what you need, some gentle mindful yoga asana can be helpful.

The point is to keep it simple and to drop into presence as best you can. 

2. Take Some Time to Review Holidays Past

Now that you’re a bit more present, it’s time to look clearly at the past. 

Take some time to review holidays past and give yourself a chance to reflect. 

Where did you go? What did you do? Who was there? And who wasn’t? What did you spend? Eat? Drink? Consume? Regret?

While this review might bring up some emotion, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Indeed, our ability to experience joy, delight and wonder is directly related to our ability to feel all our feelings. So if you want those feelings, you can begin now to practice accepting the less comfortable ones, such as grief, sadness, hurt, and pain. Getting some support, from a therapist, coach or weekly group with accountability can be incredibly helpful, too. 

3. Identify What You Loved (and Didn’t) in Previous Years

Next it’s time to identify what you want to consciously co-create this holiday season. 

A great way to do that is to use a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and write down all the things you loved doing in previous holiday seasons. Similarly, take a few minutes to write down the stuff you hated. 

Did you love that time you spent with your college buddy attending Christmas mass at Il Duomo in Milan? Or was it the family gathering at your Uncle Leon’s house with your quirky (to put it mildly) relatives? Maybe it was putting up holiday lights and watching goofy rom coms in your PJs with your honey? Or baking your mother’s traditional holiday spanakopita to pay homage to the good times you shared with her when she was alive?

Also get clear on the stuff you didn’t like, or that perhaps no longer serves you.


Did you spend way too much money on gifts that harmed you financially when January rolled around? Or maybe you ate way too many sugary treats and felt physically horrible? Perhaps you travelled far away to visit folks and promised yourself you’d never do that holiday travel thing again? Or did you feel too exhausted in the New Year and wish you had just laid low and given yourself time to rest? 

Whatever it is, getting it out of your head and onto paper can be enormously clarifying. 

4. Next, Schedule the Activities You Love 

Now that you’re clear on the stuff you loved during holidays past, the fun part begins. 

Get out your calendar and start getting organized to do the things that nurture you. Do you need a few hours to hang lights? Block that time out. Craving a silent retreat to do something more meaningful for the New Year? Get on the website of that Buddhist monastery nearby and check out what’s available. Want to volunteer at the local food bank? Check out what their needs are that match your availability. 

The point is to be super clear and intentional with how you want to spend your precious time and other resources first, and not just falling into the path of least resistance. 

5. Pay Attention to the Pull of the Past and Communicate Clearly To Loved Ones Using “I” Language

The holidays can often pull us back in time.

Unmet expectations, grief, loved ones who are no longer with us, traumatic moments from childhood that were never processed (or acknowledged) and the ridiculously absurd pressure to have the “perfect” everything can be toxic. It can be easy to fall into childhood patterns of behavior, as well as codependency when we look to things outside of ourselves to feel ok.

One of the best antidotes to falling into old patterns is to practice using “I language” when communicating our needs to friends and family around the holidays. 

Maybe that sounds like, “I’d love to spend time with you this year but I really need to take care of my health and won’t be coming to the Cookie-Palooza this time. Could we meet up for a walk in the park instead? 

Or:

“I’m really focusing on getting my financial house in order and won’t be able to come visit for 5 days and bring gifts for everyone this year. But I’d really love to spend some time with you and to come sometime in March when fares are lower. Does that work for you?”

6. Take a moment to celebrate starting right now

Now that you’ve taken the time to get clear on what you want (and don’t want) this holiday season, take a moment to celebrate your accomplishment. Even if it feels awkward, it’s important to take time to appreciate the emotional and physiological states you want to cultivate in your life. This is an important somatic experience that can help you create more resilience over time.

If there’s anything the holidays can do for us, it’s to help us reflect on what truly matters and to create the space, time and opportunity to co-create experiences that we genuinely desire.

Try these 6 steps (with pen and paper) and explore how better boundaries - with yourself and others - might be just the booster you need this holiday season.

Three Tips for Coping with Transition Fatigue (Yet Again!)

Ever feel like there is way too much change going on in your life or the world? Like just when you get used to one big tsunami there’s another wave of transition coming right at you?

If you’ve been alive in 2021 in the U.S. certainly, you may be feeling this unending sense of anxiety and dread.

“What? Now we’re back to wearing masks again? They want us to come back to the office? I was just getting used to this working at home thing and I’m supposed to do what now? After all the juggling I just did, now I’ve got to maneuver it all around again? When the hell are things ever gonna just go back to normal?!?!”

I know plenty of folks who are making themselves sick and stressed because of the transition fatigue and overwhelm. They don’t have the right tools and information about how we work as human beings and they are burning out. 

Great news. It doesn’t have to be that way!

As someone who has adapted to and created a lot of change in my life, and who helps others do the same, trust me when I say this: not only can you ride out this phase of transition in your life, but you can learn the tools, skills and practices to help you be with change in a way that doesn’t make you overly stressed and sick in the coming weeks, months and years to come. 

‘Cuz guess what, dear one?

Change is here, it’s inevitable and it can be a really good thing. 

In this blog post, you’ll learn 3 things you can begin with right now to help you cope with transition fatigue and overwhelm.

1. Find ground

Remember old-fashioned cartoons? 

Where everything in the entire frame - the background, the farmhouse, the lake - is perfectly still except for Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck running around? When you watched that as a kid, you probably marveled at it and didn’t even notice that 95% of the screen wasn’t moving at all. 

That’s because we are wired to track changes and notice what is moving in our environment and visual field. When these changes happen at a pace our nervous systems can process, or within our window of tolerance, we are usually ok. 

But what happens when there are so many changes going on in your life and you don’t have the opportunity to process, assimilate and integrate them?  

That can be incredibly destabilizing and overwhelming. 

In fact, too many changes without enough stability can feel like chaos, and from a biological perspective that’s unequivocally true. 

(Plus they — even changes we like or have worked hard for - be terribly exhausting energetically, like a tax on the nervous system. So if that’s you, read on).

Trauma (or traumatic stress) can be defined as anything that overwhelms us and leaves us feeling helpless, hopeless or unable to respond. (Click here for a much more detailed explanation for understanding trauma). Too many changes in too short a period of time can qualify. If, for example, you experienced a job change, a significant change in health, the death of a beloved pet and a global pandemic in the span of a year or two like a beloved client of mine - in addition to all the regular life stressors like paying your bills, having relationships and taking care of your mental health - you shouldn’t be surprised to find yourself feeling overwhelmed. If you’ve had stressful situations growing up, you can multiply that impact by many fold.

So what can you do?

EXERCISE: Focus on what’s stable, unchanging and consistent right here, right now. 

For example, you could take a few moments to note everything that is grounding or solid for you right now. Maybe you can feel your bones, your heart beating or your breath - all elements that have been with you consistently since you were born. You could also bring your awareness to the chair, sofa or bed you are in right now, the ground beneath you, the stars and the moon in the sky above, or the predictable way your cat jumps on your lap the minute you try to get on a Zoom call. My private and group coaching clients know what a fan I am of also having daily and weekly self-care non-negotiables (something we talk about a lot) as the consistent elements in cultivating resilience. 

(Note: If you travel a lot or have an unpredictable work schedule, it’s even more important for you to take the time to get clarity on your daily non-negotiables, to communicate them when necessary to family and colleagues and to protect them fiercely. Mine include meditation, three meals a day, prayer, yoga, adequate sleep and connecting with my support system).

Now doing so won't necessarily affect the changes that are happening in your life. But it can very likely give you the shift in perspective that reminds you of all that you can count and rely on in this very moment. Even if you’ve had lots of disappointments or trying challenges in your life - as many of us have - by bringing your awareness to what is stable, unchanging and consistent right now, you’re giving yourself (and your resilient nervous system) a chance to recalibrate. 

2. Notice positive changes

Having lived in Europe for a good part of my life, I’ve always found it odd that Americans in general (warning: huge sweeping overgeneralization ahead!) are incredibly reluctant to talk about class and financial privilege. People are more likely to talk about their sex life than they are class and how it affects every area of our lives, including our mental health, relationships and well-being. 

But recently, I’ve noticed more conversations and discussions about class in mainstream audiences. When millions of people are strangled by student loan debt, often into the hundreds of thousands of dollars for people who are in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond, it makes sense that more people are willing to talk about the implications of student loan debt on class mobility, status and the increasingly elusive dream of a middle class life.

That, in my opinion, is a very, very positive change in our culture. 

And that’s the second strategy I’d like to suggest you explore when you’re feeling overwhelmed by change: notice what has changed for the better in your life, community and the world around you because I promise you there is a lot.

EXERCISE: Identify and focus on positive changes

One simple way to do this is to set a timer for 5 minutes. When the timer goes off, you start writing a list (bullet points are fine) of all the things that are better today for you than they were at some point in the past. Maybe you don’t have a 3 hour commute into the city for work or you’re finally able to walk after a devastating accident that left you nearly paralyzed. Or maybe you got a new lovable little critter during the pandemic that greets you when you come home. Or maybe your arms are finally strong enough so you can do bakasana (crow pose) or date online without your self-esteem being dragged into the mud with every dud. 

Broaden it out if you like and focus on changes in your community or the world that are in a positive direction. Like the greater participation of women in the workforce or greater equity, diversity and inclusion in some environments. (Or the fact that most Americans with access to clean drinking water, electricity and health care live better than Louis XIV did when he was King of France!).

It’s important to keep in mind that, even while changes are happening that feel terribly uncomfortable - or are even devastating and incomplete in some cases - good can often come from them with your intention and attention. For example, maybe you were in a toxic and abusive relationship and made a commitment never again to date someone who isn’t self-aware and willing to do the work. While it might not have been fun getting there, your new and improved sense of self-esteem is a huge win. Taking stock of these wins regularly by training your mind to notice and savor them (click HERE for more on understanding the mind and the brain for non-neuroscientists) can be hugely beneficial and will serve you greatly.

3. Seek spiritual inspiration 

Because of the negativity bias we all have as part of our survival make-up, it takes conscious, consistent effort to focus on things that inspire us and give us hope. That might be in the religion of your childhood, yoga, recovery or any other type of grounded, embodied spirituality that lifts you up. 

The important things spirituality can offer us are both, (1) an understanding and acceptance of the impermanence of all phenomena and (2) a way of being reasonably comfortable with uncertainty (for more ideas about understanding your spirit, check this out). 

EXERCISE: Get plugged in spiritually 

Perhaps that means you spend some time reconnecting with the faith of your childhood, reading spiritual or inspiring books (like Peace from Anxiety from my teacher Hala Khouri), listening to podcasts, joining a faith community or a group that lets you see others making positive, inspiring changes in their lives. If resources are tight, recovery communities offer hope and inspiration to millions of people looking to live better lives free of addictive patterns (remember, addiction isn’t necessarily drugs or alcohol, but can be any pleasurable behavior -- scrolling social media, porn, shopping, food, exercise, overworking, etc -- that persists despite adverse consequences). For some people, going for a hike in nature might give you perspective. For others, being part of a social justice movement - a positive, life-affirming sense of belonging to something greater than yourself  - can be hugely beneficial. 

Now that you have some ideas for coping with transition fatigue and overwhelm, what comes next?

You might be thinking: 

Ok I get these strategies, they seem useful. But how do I do this in my real life?

This is precisely what folks in the Mastering Resilience Group Coaching Program do each week. There’s a lot of nuance to applying these strategies and tips in your life in ways that you can engage with consistently. Support is required for you to try different things on. And then there’s the importance of loving accountability, when you make and keep different commitments to your self-care in a compassionate, authentic group setting. 

Want to try it out?

Check out the upcoming Community Support Call: Tools for Coping with Transition Fatigue (Yet again!) on Tuesday, August 31st from 10-11:30 am Pacific. For more details and to register for this FREE call, click HERE. 

The bottom line?

Change is an inevitable part of life, as cliche as that sounds. 

The good news is that by implementing these strategies you can begin to cultivate a more-balanced and easeful relationship with it. Change might never be your favorite thing (after all we are creatures of habit, routine and ritual) but at least you can begin to move out of the stress of resistance and overwhelm.

And that is something to celebrate!

Join the upcoming Community Support Call: Tools for Coping with Transition Fatigue (Yet again!) on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021 from 10-11:30 am Pacific. The call is FREE to join but you must REGISTER HERE to attend.