How’s Your Sleep? Part 3: Somatic Practices to Support Better Rest

If you’ve ever collapsed into bed exhausted—only to find your brain spinning at 100 miles per hour—you’re not alone. Many of us live in a chronic state of go-go-go, then wonder why we can’t fall asleep. In Part 1 of this series, we explored how the nervous system impacts sleep. In Part 2, we looked at transitions like perimenopause and life changes that can further disrupt our rest.

Now, in Part 3, we’ll explore practical Somatic Experiencing® techniques you can use throughout the day to stay within your window of resilience—so that when bedtime comes, your body actually feels safe enough to sleep.

Why is regulation during the day essential for sleep at night?

According to polyvagal theory, our autonomic nervous system is constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger. When we encounter stress—whether it's a difficult conversation, a deadline, or just a crowded grocery store—our body often responds by activating the sympathetic branch of the nervous system: fight or flight. If we don’t complete these responses or discharge the energy, it can stay lodged in the body, creating a backlog of activation.

This backlog can look like restlessness, intrusive thoughts, muscle tension, or a second wind late at night.

In contrast, when we support nervous system regulation throughout the day, we increase the likelihood that our system can access the parasympathetic state of rest and repair—also known as the ventral vagal state—when it’s time to sleep.

Grounding: Plugging Back Into the Earth

Grounding helps the body feel more anchored, stable, and present. It gives the nervous system a signal that you are here now—and safe enough.

Try this:

• Take your shoes off and place your feet firmly on the ground.
  

• Press gently into your heels, then into the balls of your feet, then your toes.
  

• Feel the texture of the surface beneath you: carpet, tile, soil, sand.
  

• Notice what happens in your breath or body as you do this.
  

You can also ground through sensation: holding a warm mug, rubbing scented oil into your hands, or wrapping yourself in a heavy blanket. In the Coachella Valley, even touching a warm rock or tree can offer a deeply somatic form of reconnection.

Practicing grounding before or after meetings, during transitions, or while listening to your favorite podcast can support self-awareness which helps accumulate regulation throughout the day.

Orienting: Letting the Body Know You’re Not in Danger

Orienting is one of the most natural and powerful somatic tools we have. It’s what animals do when they enter a new space—scanning the environment to assess whether it’s safe. My beloved dog Yogi — a ten-pound Yorkipoo — would always would do this when he came into the office or a new space, just to make sure it was safe for him and everyone else.

Try this:

• Gently move your head and neck to look around the space you’re in.

• Let your eyes move slowly. Don’t force yourself to see anything specific—just let yourself notice.

• You might find your breath shifting, your shoulders lowering, or your jaw relaxing.
  

You can orient in bed before you fall asleep by softly scanning the room with your eyes, naming what you see: a lamp, a plant, a painting. This simple act helps the body confirm that you are not in a war zone or a stressful Zoom room—you’re in your bed, and it’s safe to rest.

Resourcing: Remembering What Brings You Strength

Resourcing invites us to connect with images, people, places, or sensations that give us a sense of strength, calm, or joy. These aren’t just “positive thoughts”—they are felt experiences that anchor the body in a state of safety.

Try this:

• Think of a place (perhaps in nature )that you love.

• Imagine yourself there: What does it smell like? What colors do you see? What sounds are present?

• Notice if your body starts to shift in any way—more breath, less tension, more warmth.
  

Other resources might include:

• A pet or loved one

• A spiritual figure or teacher

• A favorite poem or song

• A memory of being held, safe, or free
  

Resourcing during the day builds a buffer in the nervous system, so you’re not running on empty by evening. It’s especially helpful if you’ve had a stressful day and want to reset your baseline.

Self-Contact: Touch That Calms the System

Touch can be profoundly regulating when it comes from you, to you. This is known as self-contact, and it can help your system shift out of sympathetic overdrive and into rest mode.

Try this:

• Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly.

• Feel the warmth of your hands.

• Breathe gently, imagining your breath moving between your hands.
  

Other forms of self-contact include:

• Placing a hand on the back of your neck

• Cradling your face

• Gently stroking your arms

• Place one hand on your chest and the other on top of it
  
  

Try doing this while lying in bed, when you could use a little extra support during a client meeting or when you first wake up. This kind of touch isn’t about fixing anything—it’s about offering your body the cues of safety it needs to downshift.

Bringing It All Together

The truth is, sleep doesn’t start at bedtime.

It starts in the morning, when we begin to shape the conditions for regulation throughout the day.

When we practice grounding, orienting, resourcing, and self-contact regularly, we’re sending our nervous system the message: you are safe enough to rest.

Try layering one of these practices into your daily rhythm—just 2–3 minutes at a time. Over time, you’ll start to notice more ease in your system… and perhaps, more rest at night.

If you missed the earlier parts of this series, you can read them here:
🌙 Part 1: Understanding the Nervous System–Sleep Connection
🌿 Part 2: Navigating Transitions and Hormones with Somatic Wisdom

If you're struggling with chronic stress, anxiety, or sleep challenges, you're not alone. I offer trauma-informed coaching and Somatic Experiencing in Palm Springs and online. Let's work together to support your nervous system—and your rest.

The Wisdom of Wings: What the Myth of Icarus Can Teach Us About Resilience Today

Imagine this: a father and son stand on the edge of a labyrinthine tower, wings made of wax and feathers strapped to their backs. Below them, the deep blue sea stretches endlessly; above, the blazing sun waits. Daedalus, the master craftsman, warns his son, Icarus:

“Fly not too high, lest the sun melt your wings. Nor too low, lest the sea weigh them down.”

And so begins one of the most iconic myths of ancient Greece—a tale of freedom, flight, ambition, and consequence.

But what if this story isn’t just a warning about overreaching?

What if it’s also a metaphor for how we navigate our own emotional and energetic range?

The Window of Resilience: Our Modern-Day Wings

In trauma-informed healing work, we often talk about the Window of Resilience—the optimal zone in which we can feel, think, and respond with flexibility and presence.

When we are within this window, we are connected. We can access our intuition, creativity, and power. When we move outside of it, we swing into either:

• Hyperarousal (too much activation, like anxiety, overwhelm, rage),
  or

• Hypoarousal (too little activation, like numbness, shutdown, or depression).

This isn’t just nervous system theory—it’s life in motion.

And doesn’t that sound familiar?

Flying too high—too close to the sun—might look like burnout, overdoing, or constantly proving your worth. Flying too low—too close to the sea—might look like playing small, staying silent, or shrinking yourself to be “safe.”

Ancient Myths as Mirrors for Modern Lives

Here’s the thing: Greek myths weren’t just entertainment. They were encoded messages about how to live wisely, bravely, and in balance with the forces of nature—both outside and within.

The myth of Icarus reminds us of something vital: True power lies in finding the middle path—the space where we can stretch, risk, feel, and still remain tethered to our own inner knowing.

In our world, though, women aren’t usually punished for flying too high.

We are conditioned, subtly and not-so-subtly, to stay close to the sea.

• To quiet our brilliance.

• To swallow our rage.

• To smooth over conflict.

• To put others’ needs before our own wisdom.

So if we’re going to learn from this myth, we may need to flip it a little.

For Many Women, the Greater Risk is in Rising

In my work as a coach and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, I see it every day: the fear of rising.

Not the fear of failure, but the fear of what will happen if we stop dimming our light.

Flying “too high” might mean:

• Saying what you really think in a meeting.

• Raising your prices.

• Leaving a relationship that no longer honors your becoming.

• Saying yes to a dream that no one else can see but you.

And it might feel scary. But this is what reclaiming your wings looks like.

Resilience isn’t about staying small. It’s about expanding the range of what you can tolerate without abandoning yourself.

What You Can Do Right Now

As you go about your day, try asking yourself:

• Where am I right now? Within my window of resilience, or outside it?

• Am I shrinking when I could be rising?

• What would it mean to fly in my own centerline—balanced, powerful, present?

And if you want support in doing that, or if the land of Greece is calling you home in some deep, ancient way—I’d love to walk with you there.

Returning to the Land of Myth: A Retreat for the Soul

This September, I’m offering a 7-night retreat in the Peloponnese, Greece, called Myth & Meaning.

We’ll gather under the olive trees, surrounded by mountains and sea, to reconnect with the archetypal stories that still live in us.

Through embodiment practices, Somatic Experiencing, mythology, and circle work, we’ll explore:

• What myths are you still living?

• Where are you flying too low or too high?

• How do you come back into your own window of resilience?

• And what happens when you allow yourself to reclaim your wings?

This isn’t just a vacation. It’s an epic journey to something ancient, wise, and utterly alive in you.

Isn’t it time you answered the call?

The Myth and Meaning Retreat in Greece (august 31 - September 7) is now open for registration for a limited time. CLICK HERE FOR ALL THE DETAILS AND Join us.