How to Heal Your Relationship with Money (and Time)
Is this you?
When you get together with your old college friends, do you want to run away and hide when they talk about buying homes, investments and retirement?
Do you often argue with your partner about money?
When your boss tells you to take on yet more responsibilities without a salary increase do you say yes in fear of losing your job?
Are you the first person in your lineage to “make it” and feel constant anxiety that it could all be taken away (or feel guilt for what you have that others don’t)?
During tax time are you paralyzed and frozen by the prospect of filing yours, leave it til the last minute, or have panic attacks?
Are you constantly worried about money even though you earn a six figure income and look successful on the outside?
When bills come, do you throw them in a pile on the counter and hide while bingeing on your favorite Netflix series?
Are anxiety and depression about money recurring themes for you, but ones you don’t talk about. Not even with your therapist?
If, so you’re not alone.
The reality is that feeling overwhelmed by money and finances is much more common than you’d think.
In fact, for many folks - even those on a path of spirituality or healing - money can be terrifying. Indeed, responses like fight, flight, freeze and fawn are incredibly common when it comes to earning, investing, and asking for what you want and need. To say that we have money trauma might sound like an exaggeration to some.
But the facts are clear:
Whenever we have experienced any kind of ongoing stress or trauma - whether related to money explicitly or not - our relationship with abundance, security and a sense of safety can be impacted.
And what is money the consummate symbol of?
You guessed it. A sense of abundance, security and safety.
So we double down on working more, staying in jobs we hate to pay our massive debts and read books on personal finance to get out of the perennial hole we feel that we’re in. But no matter how much we dig, the hole never seems to get smaller.
Neither does the shame.
More information and learning don’t seem to help much either.
That’s because we don’t learn well when we’re chronically stressed. And if your brain is constantly flooded with the stress chemicals of cortisol and adrenaline, when you’re staring at the moon at 3 am because you haven’t done your taxes, it’s nearly impossible to absorb all the potentially useful information out there.
In other words:
It’s not your fault you can’t seem to learn about money stuff or apply what you’ve learned consistently.
Yes read that again, dear one:
It’s not your fault you can’t seem to learn about money stuff or apply what you’ve learned consistently.
So what’s the solution?
Well one starting point is right there in your body. Yes, that’s right: the body that is sitting there, holding the phone in front of your eyes as they move back and forth while you read this. And the magnificent nervous system that runs it.
When you learn the crucial skills of embodiment, and how to regulate your nervous system, you can begin to absorb information differently. When you are in the rest-and-digest part of your nervous system, you can learn better, make better decisions in your long-term best financial interest and finally stop beating yourself up for stuff that isn’t really your fault.
Like capitalism, for example. #realtalk
Which brings us to the second big piece you need to understand to improve your relationship with money for good, and that is this:
We are operating in systems of power and privilege that aren’t necessarily designed for your well-being. So while you can work hard, save, do exactly what dominant culture tells you to do (including pay your debts) you still might not ever get ahead unless you also have a clear understanding of how systems of power operate, and intersect with your own unique lived experiences.
And while that might seem frustrating and disheartening at first, knowing where you are in place and time is vital for building solidarity, cooperation and systems of support that are designed for all of us to thrive together. When we have clarity about what we are up against, paradoxically we can be more confident about the ways we can take action for our benefit.
Who we are and how we can help you
We’re regular women - both bicultural ones in fact . We’ve been exactly where you are, too, frustrated, ashamed, confused and demoralized.
In fact - we are you.
But despite impressive educational and professional credentials - I was a diplomat doing international development work around the world with a graduate degree in International Economics from Johns Hopkins University and Paulina Padilla is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 15 years of experience as a psychotherapist - trauma prevented us from thriving around money and time.
We’ve had our own decades-long journeys with money and healing, and help others to do so around the world as a coach (Felina Danalis, MA, SEP) and psychotherapist (Paulina Padilla, LCSW, SEP). In fact, we’ve both spent years in extensive, experiential training including with Dr. Peter Levine to become Somatic Experiencing Practitioners and help train other healing professionals in embodiment skills, trauma healing and working in culturally responsive ways.
We’ve put together what we’ve learned with decades of experience, thousands of client hours and tons of research to bring you the absolute essentials of what you need to know to thrive with money in late-stage capitalism.
And the best part?
When you know and embody the EMTR approach, you can contribute to being part of collective solutions that make the planet and world better for us all.
Imagine what it would be like to have a peaceful, abundant secure and lush relationship with money and time.
We believe not only is it possible. But that it is your birthright!
Introducing the Embodied Money Trauma Reset Workshop.
In this 3-hour experiential workshop, you’ll get:
Embodiment:
An introduction to embodiment, how the nervous system works and why the hacks you’re seeing on social media might NOT be right for you
Money:
Awareness of the two key ways that money disruptions might be showing up in your life right now
Trauma:
An overview of three types of trauma and how it impacts your sense of abundance, security and safety (even if you don’t think about it)
Reset:
The 7 actionable steps you can take starting right now to begin to transform your relationship with money (without skipping your lattes!)
Plus a ton of secret surprises to support you on your journey moving forward.
In this workshop, you’ll also get:
Sensory supports to help you to enter a zone of learning
Somatic practices to help you identify and cultivate your Window of Tolerance
A set of Community Agreements creating brave spaces for participants to share with as much safety as possible
Educational content to help you learn the key concepts to get started right away
Journalling, partner exercises and group sharing
List of supplemental resources to help you dive deeper
The workshop recording that’s yours to keep and review again and again
Integration recommendations
An epic EMTR playlist designed to inspire, empower and connect healing your relationship with money
And much more …
What would it be worth to you to have a thriving relationship with money?
We know you’ve read the books on money, watched countless videos, listened to podcasts, gone to classes, worked with professionals like financial advisers, therapists, financial planners, coaches, spent money on programs that felt like they were pouring water into a bathtub with the plug pulled out.
They may have worked for a while - but eventually the good stuff drained out and you were back where you started.
This workshop is about helping you plug the hole in the tub for good - so you can begin to reap the rewards of the abundance of service, empathy and compassion you share with the world around you. It’s about helping you create greater reciprocity in your life, so that you aren’t perennially giving without receiving.
What would it be worth to never struggle with blaming or shaming yourself about money ever again?
We believe that would be priceless!
Part of our vision is a world where everyone’s needs get met. That means those who have more financial resources and are proximate to privilege, contribute a bit more. And those who have greater needs and may be more marginalized by dominant culture, receive more.
In other words, our work seeks to move beyond equality and to embody equity.
Investment:
In order to make this workshop accessible to as many people as possible, we ask that you join at the highest contribution level. The investment should be a stretch - but not a strain. Part of healing our relationship with money and narratives of scarcity is allowing it to be in motion, to flow in and out in service of our values. Learning, community building, solidarity and reciprocity are some of our values.
$250 - Supporter:
You have more than enough and want to make it possible for others to have access as a gesture of solidarity. You recognize that some of your privileges are earned, and some may not have been. You might own your own home, car, have retirement savings and investments and regularly take vacations if you are in this category.
$150 - Sustainer:
You can meet most of your needs for food, clothing and shelter and some of your wants. You might rent a higher end apartment or home, have your own car, some savings, eat out and take an occasional vacation.
$50 - Community:
You are unemployed, permanently disabled or a member of a historically oppressed community (formerly incarcerated or trafficked individuals, refugees, asylum seekers, undocumented, trans folks, etc). You regularly experience housing, food, transportation and other forms of insecurity. You are rich in lived experience and wisdom, if not financial assets.
But wait! There’s more!
Limited number of participants
A supportive community of like-minded people
Culturally responsive
The Not-So-Fine-Print:
This workshop is non-refundable. We trust you and your ability to make good decisions with money. When you opt-in, you are sending a signal to the Universe that you are committed to your own healing and transformation, no matter what.
This workshop is NOT for you if:
You’re looking for a get rich quick scheme
You’re interested in making money without concern for the planet and your community
You’d prefer to get a lot of private support only and don’t want to share your personal business as part of a group process
You can’t commit to showing up prepared and ready to learn, participate and contribute
But this workshop is PERFECT for you if:
You’re willing to engage in honest self-reflection about patterns with money that may no longer serve you
You’re rich in lived experience
You’re available to participate in energetic reciprocity emotionally and financially with your presence
You’re interested in healing your relationship with money for your benefit as well as for your loved ones, community and the planet
Will you dive in and transform your relationship with money … or wait another year (or ten)?
FAQ
When is the workshop?
The 3-hour workshop is on Wednesday, April 10th from 10 am - 1 pm Pacific time on zoom.
Is this workshop a lecture?
This workshop is dynamic, interactive and experiential. You will be introduced to important content however, and then have a chance to integrate it more deeply. There will be journaling and sharing, as well as somatic embodiment practices to help the material move from your head into your heart and body, where real change happens.
What specifically will I get from this workshop?
You’ll get out of the workshop exactly what you put into it. In other words, if you show up prepared, on time, on camera, ready to learn, share and hold space for others in an embodied, supportive way, you’ll get the most from the experience.
Here are a few of the results you can expect from the EMTR workshop:
More willingness and ability to value your time, money and contribution
Confidence about your ability to make decisions with money and self-worth!
Deeper respect for your journey with money
Greater embodiment and nervous system regulation around money
Increased clarity around what you can control and what you can’t
A network of positive, focused and like-minded people
What do you mean by “join at the highest contribution level”? Why should I pay more than other people?
Systems of oppression, like capitalism and white supremacy are designed to isolate us. They indoctrinate us with toxic beliefs in hierarchies and myths (like that of the “self-made man”). As part of our desire to reimagine capitalism, we seek to create access to all who care to reset their relationship with money in an embodied way. Equity pricing is one way of honoring our values - it helps meet the psychology of scarcity head on and opens us to flow. (It also keeps food on the table for our families, too!)
What do I need to participate?
A quiet uninterrupted internet connection is ideal for creating the initial conditions for you to thrive in the EMTR Workshop. Show up for this with the same presence that you would show up with for a meeting with your top client, boss or therapist. This means be prepared to be on camera. A journal and something to write with is great. Also bring whatever somatic supports will make this as luxurious and cozy as possible. That might be a warm cup of tea, your favorite essential oils, a pillow for your back and whatever else will support you in being relaxed and alert.
Will I get personalized attention in this workshop?
This is primarily a group experience, although you may receive feedback or suggestions in response to your questions. If you’d like more personalized support (for an additional investment) reach out to Paulina Padilla here or Felina Danalis here. We each have a limited number of spots available for workshop participants on a first come first served basis.
This sounds amazing! I’d love to invite folks from my organization or company to join. Can we get a group discount?
If you’re at a mission-driven organization and would like to invite more than ten participants, reach out to us to discuss a group rate or bringing this material to your organization.
What happens when I sign up?
Use the pricing option that best meets your needs. When you register you’ll receive an email confirmation. Then approximately 48 hours before the workshop you’ll receive an email with the Zoom call link and additional information. Be sure to check your spam or promotions folders.
WOW! This sounds like exactly what I need! What do I do now?
