Understanding the Nervous System + Sleep Connection
If your sleep has been unpredictable lately—hard to fall asleep, waking up at 3 a.m., or dragging through the day—you’re not alone.
Whether you’re navigating a transition, shouldering (invisible) labor at home or work, or just absorbing the weight of the world, your sleep may be telling you something important: your nervous system is overloaded.
As a Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner in Palm Springs, I often work with high-performing, mission-driven women who can do it all—until their body says otherwise. And sleep is usually one of the first signs that something in the system needs tending.
Why Sleep Isn’t Just About “Shutting Down”
We often think of sleep as a binary: on or off, asleep or awake. But sleep is a delicate biological rhythm governed by your autonomic nervous system—the same system that manages stress, digestion, and heart rate.
When you’re under chronic stress, your body can get stuck in sympathetic activation (fight/flight) or a dorsal state (shutdown/freeze). In either state, your system doesn’t feel safe enough to deeply rest.
You might notice:
Racing thoughts as soon as your head hits the pillow
Waking up between 2–4 a.m. with a pounding heart or anxious mind
Feeling “tired but wired” all day
Difficulty falling back asleep after waking
Sleep Requires Safety—Even if You're Not Consciously Stressed
Here’s the thing: even if you’re doing “all the right things” with sleep hygiene—no screens, lavender tea, sound machines, sleep mask and blackout cirtains—if your nervous system is dysregulated, your body won’t let you fully rest.
You might be holding tension from:
Past trauma or unfinished stress responses
Cultural pressure to overperform or prove your worth
Grief, transition, or loss that hasn’t been metabolized
Long-standing patterns of high achievement and self-sacrifice
Sound familiar?
Somatic Experiencing®: A Gentle Way Back to Rest
Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a body-based approach to healing stress and trauma. Rather than pushing your body to “calm down,” it listens for where your nervous system is stuck and offers gentle, titrated support to restore resilience and safety.
In our work together, we don’t just talk about what’s keeping you up at night—we work with the sensations, rhythms, and impulses of your body so that rest can become available again, naturally.
Clients often say things like:
“For the first time in years, I can fall asleep without a podcast blaring in the background.”
“I wake up less and feel more rested—even on short nights.”
“I didn’t realize how much I was bracing all day until I started feeling safe enough to let go at night.”
A New Relationship to Sleep Starts with Awareness
Before changing habits, supplements, or even your bedtime, try asking:
What’s my nervous system holding right now that hasn’t had space to settle?
Sometimes, that question alone opens the door to a different kind of relationship with sleep—one that’s less about fixing and more about listening.
Next up in this series…
In Part 2, we’ll explore how life transitions—especially perimenopause—affect sleep, and how Somatic Experiencing can support you through these hormonal and identity shifts. Stay tuned.
Want to work together?
If your sleep has been a struggle and you suspect stress is part of the picture, I’d love to support you through private somatic coaching—online or in Palm Springs. Contact me here to learn more.